Best Week Ever

The week that was the first week of school. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Read and enjoy.

Monday was the First Day of School. It should be a national holiday. Personally, I enjoy this day because it feels so good to get back to something you have done for a long time (in my case, eight years) that you haven’t done in a long time (I last taught in summer school, six or so weeks ago). I also like this day because after I spend about 15 or so minutes going through rules and procedures, I launch right into my first teaching lecture of the year and when I’m done, I even assign homework. I love the First Day of School.

Four days after the giddy excitement of the First Day of School came the nervous excitement of Parent Information Night (aka PIN nite). Imagine standing in a room, let’s say the library at school, and having the opportunity to talk for 15 minutes straight about yourself and your algebra program. I personally enjoy the rush and I try my best to entertain the audience while imparting relevant and important information regarding what their children will be learning in my algebra class this year. As I mentioned before, I do enjoy the rush, thank goodness PIN only happens once per year.

Last Friday evening, my Fantasy Football league held its annual draft. Being chosen with the number 2 pick overall, I picked Steven Jackson (over Shaun Alexander). My backfield rounds out with Rudi Johnson, Jamal Lewis, and Marshawn Lynch. My wideouts are Lee Evans, Larry Fitzgerald, Calvin Johnson, and Vincent Jackson, and my QBs are Jon Kitna and Philip Rivers. I traditionally finish one game out of the playoffs every year so I am hoping that this year will be my year to win it all.

Our softball team, the Gatos, got pounded into to slaughter rule submission Monday night. I made three errors in left field. Ouch. Bad game for me.

I got to drive a U-Haul from San Leandro to Sacramento yesterday. We (Ms Khan and most of her family) helped move her sister up to Sac-town. It’s pretty fun driving a big truck like that; a few times I caught myself going over the 70 mph speed limit and I had to slow my roll down. All in all, a 13+ hour day was actually pretty fun, but really hot (I do NOT miss living in the Sacramento Valley).

Last but not least, I had to say goodbye to my beloved Elmo Overhead Projector, as it burned it’s last replaceable light bulb during 4th period on Friday. I am so lucky that Ms Campbell had an extra overhead in her room that I could put to use, the only class that had to suffer my writing on the whiteboard was 5th period. So long Elmo; you served me well with distinction and honor these past 7 years.

So that was the week that was. Have a great rest of the weekend and I’ll see you on Tuesday.

Not Another Trip To The Dentist

I used to hate going to the dentist. Now, I really do enjoy it. Honestly, I do. No, seriously, I’m not lying to you. I like it as much as any normal person likes it.

Whatever. Just read on. Hopefully when you are done, this will all make sense.

I gave something of myself last Saturday afternoon. It was a thing that I had not given in quite a few years (actually, it was decades but who’s keeping track). My charitable mood was spawned earlier in the week when I received an email soliciting volunteers to make a voluntary donation at the Ladera Rec Center. Being the proactive kind of guy I am, well, that and Ms Khan signed us both up for it, I made it to my 1:30 pm appointment to give blood.

Now, the last time I gave blood (in the traditional sense of the concept; more on that later) was when I was a senior in high school. I recall that experience not to be a particularly pleasant one. The nurse who was administering the service missed my vein at least twice and I had to spend the next week walking around with three scars on my right arm (what’s the word for the other side of the elbow?). And to top it off, I tried to get up too quickly after the procedure and I quickly returned to earth with a crashing thud because I was short on fluids in my body.

So, it was with a little trepidation that I arrived at the mobile blood donation service operation for my appointment. From the second I arrived to the moment the entire blood-giving was done, I was thoroughly impressed with the entire operation. There were literally an army of people in white lab coats and clipboards scurrying about doing various jobs and generally looking busy. <>

After checking in with the guy sitting behind the laptop, I was brought to a semi-private area where the nurse asked me a series of personal and health related questions as they took a tiny sample of my blood from my finger. Then I was escorted to another private area where I had to verify my answers to the previous questions by placing a sticker on the questionaire.

That task being done, I was led to the most uncomfortable elongated folding chair I had ever seen. It was sort of difficult to get in but I managed. The nurse then gave me this thing (imagine the hand grip part of a crutch) to squeeze while she located a vein on my right arm. She then proceeded to drain me of a pint of my blood (which filled up in front of my very eyes in this little plastic pouch). FYI, I learned that a pint of blood weighs 1 pound.

After removing the needle from my arm, she wrapped my “wound” with some pink gauze (it was chosen for me because it matched some pink and red stripes I had on my white collared shirt). I was then taken to the recovery area where I was fed two mini ice cream cup, a glass of orange juice, and a (few) cookies. (So much for losing that pound not five minutes earlier).

Fifteen minutes later, I was on my way back to school so I could finish writing my 8th grade algebra test. I had done my good deed for the week/month/year (I’ll choose one when I do something good again sometime in the future) and I had provided something that someone could use to save their life. So, I guess that feels pretty good.

It’s funny because my usual line is that I give blood at the dentist because I went through a period of my life that I neglected a trip to the dentist for about 10 years. When I finally got the courage to go again, my teeth and gums were in such bad shape that I bled profusely every time I went (which is every 3 months for these past 4 years). Things are waaaaay better now (I’ve actually grown accustomed to the pain and think of it as my penance for missing so much chair time in his office over the years) and I couldn’t imagine not going.

It’s nice now when I hear the phrase, “I’m giving blood”, that I don’t immediately think of the dentist. I can actually visualize the process I just described and be like every other person in the world that has given blood in the normal way. I am so glad I’m normal now.

Having Ants For Breakfast

I need to ask some of you out there for a bit of advice. Perhaps you or someone you know have had a similar experience and maybe, just maybe, your nuggets of knowledge and words of wisdom will provide me with the solution to the problem. So here goes:
A few weeks ago, I noticed a few ants leisurely strolling across the windowsill of my bathroom. I removed them and thought nothing of it until I returned later on that day to see that there were more ants on the same sill and on the wall near it.

Remembering that I dealt with this same problem about 6 months earlier, I retrieved from my garage an unused box of ant poison. The way this stuff works is that the ants will eat/drink/whatever this poison and drag it back to their colony and it will poison the lot of them. Allegedly (from what I read on the box), this stuff is not toxic to humans (provided we don’t consume it like halloween candy), so I snipped the ends of the plastic container with scissors and I set down two traps.

The next day I returned, hoping to see no ants, but I saw the near-opposite. There were about 50 or so ants snacking on the stuff (the package is clear so you can see in; it reminds me of animals drinking from a watering hole in the jungle). Some of them appeared to be dead but in retrospect they were just resting because when I returned again later I found that the poison watering hole had all but been abandoned.

Yea, the plan worked.

No, not really.

Two days of no activity later, when I awoke at my usual 5 am on a weekday, and I noticed that now there were like 300 ants frantically gathering around the watering hole. This time, a bunch of them were just laying around and not moving (very un-antlike) and others were climbing over them to get to the nectar. When I returned yet again later on in the day, the hole was abandoned except for the few that had managed to drown themselves in the intoxicating pool of alleged ant-death liquid.

Hoping that perhaps today was the day that no ants would be there when I awoke, I discovered this morning around five am that there were still about 3 or 4 dozen ants imbibing the bittersweet juice.

My question is this: Am I using the right stuff? Is this liquid only temporarily killing them or is it just knocking them out for a few days? Should I try other brands? Do I have to call an exterminator? It’s starting to rain outside these days and I vaguely recall ants seeking shelter when it rains.

Give me a shout out here and drop some knowledge on me. I am tired of having the ants for breakfast every other day.

King of the Links

I like to play golf. Not the kind of golf that one plays with clubs and carts and cleats and questionable clothing choices. I’m not even talking about the kind of golf that one plays outdoors.

I, of course, am referring to the kind of golf one plays on the screen of one’s computer. And it’s not even a “realistic” golf game; it’s actually a miniature golf game called “Crazy Golf”. And finally, just about ten minutes prior to my typing up this post, my day on the course finally arrived.

Allow me to explain.

I have been addicted to this game called “Crazy Golf” that is on this website called teagames.com. I discovered this site playing this bow and arrow game and I have sinced moved on to Crazy Golf. I have played this game a few times per day (and more on weekends) for the past month and a half and I have seen my scores steadily decrease as the days go by. (Remember, we’re talking about golf, so the lower the score the better).

I went from scores of +15 all the way down to my current low of -19. If you score low enough (meaning the lowest 100 players), you get the privilege of entering you name and score on their site for all to marvel at and be amazed by it’s lowness. Needless to say, I have been hopelessly obsessed with earning my spot in the pantheon of the superstar Crazy Golfers who have shot the lowest of the low rounds.

The only problem with this little obsession of mine is that lots of people play this game daily and my lowest score of -19 isn’t even close to making it on the board. There are people who play this game multiple times and score -29 and -30. (And this is on 18 holes!!!). So, when I finally shot a round that I thought really worthy of making the leaderboard, I found that I was not even close. Not by a long shot.

Until this afternoon (now, 15 minutes ago).

I shot a round of -16 and, like every time, the site offers one the opportunity to enter your name to be saved to the board. When I hit enter to see if anyone had shot better than a -30, I was flabbergasted and amazed to see my name, jasonp, and my last round’s score of -16 sitting pretty atop the leader board.

Now, I’m not so naive to believe that this score is going to be on top, or anywhere on this board tomorrow, or even an hour from now, but for this moment, I am the King of the Links.

If it’s photographic proof you seek, open your eyes and behold the majesty of jasonp, -16.

I know, I know, it’s a little tough to see. Just squint and you may see it! Trust me, it’s there.

“My” Super Sweet Sixteen

Have you ever seen the MTV show, “My Super Sweet Sixteen?” I think new episodes air on Sunday evenings, but as is the case with ALL MTV shows, you can usually catch it as a part of some marathon of the show they are showing on that channel the other 23 and a half hours of the day that the new episode is not on.

If you haven’t seen the show before, I’ll try and break down a typical episode for you here. Every epidode follows EXACTLY the same pattern so the only things that are different are the theme of the party and the color of the imported luxury automobile at the end. Now try and keep up.

A typical uber-wealthy teenager decides she/he HAS to have a sweet sixteenth birthday party to put all other sixteenth birthday parties to shame. First, child and parental unit go dress and accessory shopping, then child and other parental unit go car shopping. Usually the parent tells the child that they shouldn’t get his/her hopes up about the car but we all know that is a lie. Then, the child goes to school and makes a HUGE production of passing out invitations to all her friends and trendy cool kids as the camera makes sure to capture the look of disappointment on the faces of the uninvited and the unwanted.

Then, there is always some last minute drama, typically involving bad hair or a rumor about party crashers or the child being late for his/her own party or if the child’s big dance/performance number is going to go well. And then there is ALWAYS the issue about which big name celebrity is going to be performing at the party (and I always enjoy how some one-hit wonder local rap artist is THE big celebrity that the kids are coveting so much).

The night of the party comes and there is always stress and more drama as the child wonders if the party is going to be a success. As things ALWAYS work out for the kid and the psuedo rock star performs and the party guests go crazy and allow themselves to be taped for an MTV show saying how great the party was and how there will never be a better party anywhere on the planet (or known universe), the viewer knows that there is only one scene remaining in the show. The big car reveal.

The father of the birthday kid will say that there is one more thing to do and invites everyone outside. MTV cues up the dramatic classical music to accompany the slow-mo shot of the party guests feverishly running outside. Once there, the dad reveals to his surprised child that very same mega-expensive, shiny, imported sports car he was warning them earlier not to get their hopes up for. Then there is the obligatory hug and heartfelt thanks for everything moment and then the credits roll on another episode.

So, didja get all that? Good.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy this show. It is very entertaining and I liken it to the television equivalent of rubber-necking; it is something that I cannot take my eyes off. Yes, I’ll admit, I am very judgmental about it and, even though I could never afford to ever in my life be able to host such a party, I am allowed to tell myself that I would never allow a child of mine to be that spoiled and catty and brutal and mean and oblivious to the world outside of their wealthy family.

Because this show has been on for a few years, I cannot say that the kids that are portrayed here are really like the way they appear on tv. They most likely are magnifying their personalities for the sake of being a famous person on tv but I believe there is a lot of truth to the way they are acting. They seem to be extremely spoiled and don’t seem like very good people at all. And the parents are just as oblivious; oblivious to the point that they are just as blindsided by the fame aspect as well.

I can’t tell if MTV is showing this “stuff” on tv as a cautionary tale to young impressionable children not to be like these kids are or is MTV just exploiting the fact that America in 2006 cannot get enough of garbage like this. Sometimes I get the feeling that the network is trying to portray these kids in such a way that it would be downright ludicrous for anyone to try and act like this in real life, but I don’t think the kids that watch this show can really differentiate real from not real; especially the ones with more money than they know what to do with and the privilege to match.

Now, in my perfect little world where I could make people do what I wanted them to do, (for example, I was an executive at MTV and the only way the show would be broadcast was if my wishes were granted; not a likely scenario, but just go with it for the sake of allowing me to make my point, thanks), I would force every kid that appeared on a particular episode to gather together and watch the premiere of the show in the same place. The best part about this idea is that we would NOT be watching it in Hollywood or in Times Square or in an IMAX theatre.

No, the absolute best place for these people to gather together and watch the premier of their episode of insipid, overproduced, greed-filled opulence, would be in some small village in Africa, or in some coastal village in Thailand, or in some farming village in Guatemala, or in the heart of the poorest neighborhood of Bombay. Oh yeah, and all the villagers and locals would be a part of the premier party. It would be really interesting to see if the mood of the original party would be the same as the premier party or if it would, for some reason, be slightly different. If those kids (and parents) had any humility at all, I would hope that the MTV cameras caught that on film and tacked those scenes onto the end of the episode. In my heart of hearts, I believe that those kids (and their parents) would tone their act down a little; at least while the cameras were rolling.

How’s that for “My” Super Sweet Sixteen?

Back To School, 2006 Edition

Well, well, well, whadya know. Can you believe that school is in session already? If you’ve been reading my blog so far this past August, you would know that I’ve been working towards this moment for the past three (or so) weeks. But if you are just hopping on for the first time with this particular entry, then hey, I can’t believe that school has already started.

We started yesterday morning and, I have to say, after having taught 10 periods so far this year, that I really do enjoy working with these students. It is day 2 and we’ve already had our first homework assignment and homework quiz. We’ve also heard two lectures about order of operations and exponential notation so far also. Very cool stuff indeed.

And the best part is that it’s Friday and tomorrow is the weekend. It’s funny how weekends don’t mean so much when you aren’t working; except that you get to hang out with your working friends. The ironic thing about this weekend (and pretty much every weekend from now until the end of the school year) is that I will log just as many hours as I did during the week. Oh well, it’s the life of a public school teacher.

Remember how I mentioned earlier that I had already taught ten periods of class this year? Well, the bell signaling the end of my prep period is about to ring and I need to get ready to put the eleventh and twelfth periods in the book as taught classes in about two minutes. Adios.

So I Lied and I’m Running Out of Excuses

I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten a sandwich from the Plantation deli on Alameda but if you haven’t, let me be the first to recommend trying one. I mean, a sandwich is a sandwich, but there is just that intangible something going on about these things. Plus, the ladies there are very nice and I prefer to spend my money at a place where I actually like the people (not like the people at Eric’s up the street who could never really be bothered to get my order close to correct, even though I was a weekly customer for years). So, if you are ever hungry and you are driving/walking/biking/crawling by Plantation some time in the near future and you are hankering for some good eats, cruise on in and try it out.

So, why the heck am I talking about sandwiches today and where is this all going? No, I’m not hungry but I am trying to make a connection to yesterday’s post where I exclaimed to all the world (more likely the none of you that are reading this column so far) that I was planning on starting work on my curriculum yesterday. And to make things worse, I have been at school for approximately five hours today and I still haven’t broken that seal yet today, either.

Here’s why and a list of things I have done instead of the dreaded curricular-based activities:

1. Transferred materials from an old (newly destroyed via the broken zipper) teacher bag into a new one. The jury is still out on the new one; the price was right (it was free, thanks to Johnny) but it still needs to be battle tested.
2. Threw out useless papers and refiled useful papers from the bag in example one.
3. Tutored two kids (Ana in algebra and Monique in geometry)
4. Worked out at 24 hour in San Carlos. Half hour on the treadmill, 300 assorted crunches, and approximately 20 minutes on various weight machines.
5. Sushi dinner at Ariake’s. I had a half order of terriaki chicken and rice.
6. Worked out again at 24 hour, in our regular Sunnyvale locale this time. It felt like we were cheating on the gym in SC yesterday. The only thing SC has over the ‘Vale is the extremely cold water in the water fountains.
7. Shopped for teacher classroom supplies at Target and Office Depot. Fehmeen and I are the kind of teachers that buy what we need from our own pockets. That’s just the way we are.
8. Put away all the random, remaining junk on my student desks in my room.
9. Because I teach eighth graders and realizing that most of those kids are relatively tall to every other student on campus, I attempted to raise eleven of my shortest desks. After an hour of work, my makita power tool and I were successful in elevating seven out of the eleven. I was getting tired, sweaty, annoyed, frustrated, and sore so I stopped before I threw something out the window or before I said one of the illustrious words that you shouldn’t say while on a public school campus. Let me just tell you, some of those bolts were on way too tightly. I suppose I will give it one more shot before school starts, but if the results are the same (no results), I will be satisfied with that.

And here we are now. All those accomplishments and nothing done in terms of actual algebra lesson work. After I hit the publish button on this entry, I suppose I could (and most likely should) get to work on the curriculum, but seeing as how it is Friday afternoon, I will probably opt to not work on that stuff.

Aren’t you excited about checking in tomorrow (or the next day) to find out if I actually did do anything? Yeah, that’s what I figured too, but still try to stop by. Hopefully by then I will have found a more concrete direction to take this column.

Have a nice weekend. Late.

I’m Back…So Now What?

“I’m back…So now what?”

This is the sentiment I am wrestling with at this moment. Yes, I suppose the concept can apply to the writing of this post (because, to be quite honest with you, this missive is about nothing at all right now), but it also applies to what is going on in my classroom right now, approximately two weeks before the start of the school year.

We (Mrs. Picetti, formerly Ms Khan, and I) have been back at school for about a week prepping our classrooms. After our honeymoon in Kauai, we entered a deep state of extreme lethargy and laziness for about a week. Once we pulled ourselves out of those doldrums, we decided to slowly start making appearances at school, doing an hour or two, here and there, until we are now at the point where we are dedicating a large part of our day in our respective classrooms working.

Now, the easy part of this transition period is over. My classroom is about 95% set up and the only thing that is really left to do is put pencil to planner and dig deep into to curriculum planning. That can be both a blessing and a curse.

On one hand, planning and lesson writing is fun and can be a huge creative undertaking that is extremely rewarding, but, on the other hand, the hard part is where the heck do you start? I have been putting this task for the entire summer. I even went so far as to lugging all my lessons and paperwork home for the summer where it sat, undisturbed and un-worked-on, in the storage space in my garage.

So, that brings me back to the central question of the day: I’m back…so now what? Well, I suppose I should just bite the bullet, roll up my proverbial sleeves, break out the old trusty number two pencil and red felt tip pen and start planning my second year of teaching algebra one to eighth graders.

(Pause for reflection)

(More pausing, less reflecting)

Come on, who am I kidding. Forget this planning stuff. I can always start on that tomorrow.

I’m going to lunch.