The Real Dog and Pony Show

Before I get this here missive going full-steam ahead, I want to issue a disclaimer before I unwittingly offend anyone on staff who happens to bring a four-legged furry friend to school on a consistent or inconsistent basis. The subject of this particular entry is not the Daisys, the Moccos, the Marges, the Lexys, or the Lacys of the La Entrada world. The above-mentioned title and following essay are not in ANY WAY about those dogs; I actually like those little critters. What follows is intended to be about the other furry, four-legged creatures that roam about campus NOT between the hours of 8 am and 3 pm.

So, are my intentions clear here, or what? Good. Now, read on.

For as long as I’ve been alive, I have been allergic to dogs (and cats and horses; frankly any animal with fur is on my allergy list). Whenever I am exposed to a dog in a confined space I get a serious asthma attack within about ten minutes of initial contact. In the past, my only antidote to the attack was to leave the area where the dog was located and within an hour or so, my breathing would return to normal. Why not use an inhaler, you ask? Well, for whatever reason, when I was a kid and first found out about my problem, my doctor never prescribed one and so I’ve learned to just deal with the situation as I have described it above. With the commercial availability of Claritin a few years ago came major relief for me. I could actually spend hours at a time in the presence of a dog and not suffer much at all. Of course, I would be a little congested when the pill wore off, but overall. things were looking up for me.

Now that you know all about my history with animal-related asthma, I just want to point out that while I have nothing against dogs, I could just as easily spend my life avoiding them and be a-okay. In fact, when I am out in public, and this I swear happens to me every time, dogs seem to be able to sense my allergies and subsequent avoidance of them, and they flock to me like I am wearing a suit made out of marinated steaks.

This little routine even happens to me when I am at school on the weekends, nights, and during the summer. If you’ve ever been on campus during school hours, you will notice that we are a relatively dog-friendly campus. But things are just ridiculous on the weekends and at night during the school year. There are easily 15 to 20 dogs a day roaming around this place, with and without their owner nearby. Just a few weeks ago, when I first started working for the year in my classroom, around 5 pm-ish, this dog ran right up to my classroom and started barking at me. This woman, I assume she was the owner, who was up the hall, asked me if I was a teacher, explained to me that the dog is just territorial and was guarding it’s turf. Well, lady, I hate to tell you, but this is actually MY turf, thank you very much.

There is also this GIGANTIC brown poodle that gallops around this place like a dinosaur did during the jurassic period. I swear this “horsie dog” (my pet name for this thing) literally gallops across the blacktop and has a not-so-nice temperament when relating to other dogs.

But the best was a few years ago when I was working in my room and I heard the familar sounds of the jingle jangle of dogs roaming through the halls and for whatever reason I got up out of my chair and walked to my classroom door just in time to see a dog drinking from our school water faucet that the owner was holding in the on position for the dog. I mean, doesn’t the vision of a dog lapping water from a water fountain seem appetizing to you as a thirsty, water drinking human? Incredulously, I stood there, loudly cleared my throat to get her attention, and I watched as the embarrased pet owner quickly and quietly left. I couldn’t believe it either.

At least to everyone’s credit who uses this school as their personal doggie park, there aren’t a lot of noticable dog-bombs unpicked-up around campus. But then again, I don’t get out onto the large expanse of green grass we have here all that often, either.

Gotta love the dog and pony show.